why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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