I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
