You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
