just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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