Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
