Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
