Your face is a jimmy john
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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