OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
