It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
