And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
