in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize