That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
