Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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