So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
