Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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