I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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