so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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