Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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