We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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