i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize