On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
