thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
