I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
