Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
