Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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