At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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