u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
