I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
