It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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