I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize