I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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