i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
