My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
