so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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