32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
