all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
