Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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