Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
only you would photoshop your dick
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
