Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You need Xanax blowdarts
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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