First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize