I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
