pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
