Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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