The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
3 2 1 whiskey
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
