How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
