Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
