i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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