walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
