I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
