I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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