Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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