i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize