Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
