I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
