so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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