I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
