I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
