dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
