you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
