woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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