Tell her she can't have a vagina
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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