why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
