I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
