Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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